Exactly a month ago, i should be in Manila already but here i am still in good old Cebu.
Early on this year, i hurdled a very serious predicament in my life. I'd like to believe i'm over it right now - at least on the specific aspect of it.
January - i had a job interview for a Manila based company (headquarter's in Germany) here in Cebu and received the job offer in March. I was certain i wanted the job. It's going to be the same job that i currently do but I was so sure i wanted a new environment. But i wasn't ready to move out so I asked for a leeway. I said i'd join them in June. I was lucky to have given the chance and they waited for me. For the past 3 months, it wasn't a very easy task for me. I weighed each day and night whether joining them would be good or not. It was an ordeal, really. To some, it may just come easy to decide but i have lived my whole life in Cebu and it's going to be a complete turn around leaving. I have my family here (parents and sisters) and right now, i'm not certain if they can stand on their own. I have always been the wage earner and i have always been the one to decide on everything. Sure, i can still help them even when i'm away but i have always been the helpline 24/7. I know i'd have to leave them eventually but it's not yet the time. There ain't a perfect time for it but there will come a time.
I sought advise and thought things over and over again. I needed to make a choice sooner. I had everything ready, my pre employment requirements were all done. Then again, i wasn't ready emotionally. So, I made a choice. Well, you obviously can guess what my choice was.
Many said i made the right decision. Many friends were happy that i'm staying. I do know too that because of my decision, i have wronged other people. So, i'd have to say sorry for the disappointments and frustrations and troubles perhaps that i caused. But know that i truly am thankful for the opportunity.
I will always be now the girl who wonders what could have been her life there? My only consolation would be that whatever my choice could have been, it will always spell risk and unpromised future. Is staying goor or bad? I don't know... i don't want to think about it. I'm just happy i'm half way over this dilemma.
Early on this year, i hurdled a very serious predicament in my life. I'd like to believe i'm over it right now - at least on the specific aspect of it.
January - i had a job interview for a Manila based company (headquarter's in Germany) here in Cebu and received the job offer in March. I was certain i wanted the job. It's going to be the same job that i currently do but I was so sure i wanted a new environment. But i wasn't ready to move out so I asked for a leeway. I said i'd join them in June. I was lucky to have given the chance and they waited for me. For the past 3 months, it wasn't a very easy task for me. I weighed each day and night whether joining them would be good or not. It was an ordeal, really. To some, it may just come easy to decide but i have lived my whole life in Cebu and it's going to be a complete turn around leaving. I have my family here (parents and sisters) and right now, i'm not certain if they can stand on their own. I have always been the wage earner and i have always been the one to decide on everything. Sure, i can still help them even when i'm away but i have always been the helpline 24/7. I know i'd have to leave them eventually but it's not yet the time. There ain't a perfect time for it but there will come a time.
I sought advise and thought things over and over again. I needed to make a choice sooner. I had everything ready, my pre employment requirements were all done. Then again, i wasn't ready emotionally. So, I made a choice. Well, you obviously can guess what my choice was.
Many said i made the right decision. Many friends were happy that i'm staying. I do know too that because of my decision, i have wronged other people. So, i'd have to say sorry for the disappointments and frustrations and troubles perhaps that i caused. But know that i truly am thankful for the opportunity.
I will always be now the girl who wonders what could have been her life there? My only consolation would be that whatever my choice could have been, it will always spell risk and unpromised future. Is staying goor or bad? I don't know... i don't want to think about it. I'm just happy i'm half way over this dilemma.
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